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The First Image You Saw Here Will Reveal What Kind of Mind Power You Have

Iana Avramova

Psychobiologist and Nobel Prize winner Roger W. Sperry found that the brain’s 2 hemispheres—left and right—function differently, and the way you think depends on which of the sides is dominant. Based on his research there are numerous tests that can determine your thought process and personality traits.

At Bright Side, we evaluated many of these tests and came up with the best to help you introspect. Take this test and get to know a little more about yourself.

Take a quick look at the photograph. Which animal did you see first?

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Now scroll below to know more about how your mind works based on which animal you saw first.

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The head of a tiger

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The left hemisphere of your brain is more active than the right. You are an analytical person, very goal-oriented and organized. When faced with a problem you tend to be logical, calculative, and objective.

However, sometimes, because you know that the decision you made was made after a lot of thinking, you tend to be adamant. So, it is advisable that you hear the opinion of others and take it into consideration too. Remember that a little humility goes a long way.

Your personality traits:

  • Planned: You do things in a properly planned way, like in a to-do list.

  • Precise: You have clear, ear-marked goals and are clear about the path to be taken to achieve them.

  • Rational: Emotions and feelings do not get in the way of you achieving your goals.

  • Logical: You have an aptitude for math, science, and sequencing ideas.

  • Realistic: Your world is very real. In it, there is no place for fairy-tales and fiction. Similarly, however lofty your goals might seem to others, you know that they are realistic and achievable.

    The hanging monkey

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The right hemisphere of your brain is more active. You are a creative person who is full of innovative ideas. When faced with a problem you rely more on your intuition (which more often than not is correct) than on critical thinking.

You know perfectly well that every step you take in your life is a lesson for you and that even includes losing is a step toward achieving your goals. To you, the journey is more important than the goal. Since you are a dreamer, you often get lost in your own dreamland. It is essential for you to get a reality check every once in a while and to pay a little more attention to the world around you.

Your personality traits:

  • Impulsive: You do things spontaneously. You have a knack for taking an out of the box approach.

  • Emotional: You care a lot about a lot many things. You spend time pondering and act based on feelings.

  • Creative and artistic: You are skilled at music, arts, and other creative disciplines.

  • Intuitive: You don’t make a to-do list and don’t go by the rulebook. You solve problems intuitively.

  • Dreamy: You have dreams for life rather than goals and you put effort toward achieving those dreams, often succeeding. 

Remember that the 2 hemispheres of the brain do not work in isolation, rather they work together and complement each other. So, while you may seem to possess more traits that identifiable with one of the hemispheres, you will surely also possess traits from the other hemisphere.

Source: https://brightside.me

Coaching Tools - What, How and When to use them

Iana Avramova

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As far as we are familiar, Coaching, exists since the Ancient Greece. This becomes evident in the Socratic Dialogue thanks to Plato and Xenophon, who have recorded it. They show us that Socrates was the first known Coach. The questioning style that he has developed aimed to explore self-awareness. Self-awareness, which led the questioned persons to discover the truth about themselves, their wishes, desires and purpose. 

And precisely finding the truth about oneself is the core of Coaching. Without it, the whole process will not bring us close to the desired transformation or result. 

After Socrates, Coaching was evolving through the centuries, but a real popularity and understanding it gained only during the last 10 years. Its growth in popularity is proportional to the speed of technological development. The advancement in technology challenges individuals and businesses to keep up with the speed of change and turbulent environment. At the same time, Traditional Education is getting outdated and cannot keep up with that speed. This means that people in general are equipped with limited approaches to deal with the new reality. These resulted in the growing popularity of Coaching as a strategic choice for empowerment, change management and transformation. 

The quickening pace of life and technology requires Coaches to also rapidly develop their skills. The good Coach-Client relationship depends upon the ability of the Coach to creatively deal with a variety of situations. And the Coaching tools are a vital part of the process. 

What exactly are Coaching tools? Basically, Coaching tools or exercises are ANYTHING that the Coach can use in their practice. Anything, aiming at raising the Clients’ awareness and moving them forward towards the desired outcome. The purpose of the Coaching tools is to help the Clients explore the challenge they face – either as homework in their own time, in a session with the Coach or in a webinar. Further, a Coaching tool or exercise facilitates the Clients in creatingessentialtime;safespaceforreflection; it strengthens their learnings; and it helps them move forward faster. It all happens because the Coaching tools have the power to enhance the Clients’ understanding of themselves, to help them make changes, take decisions and action in their lives. It all can also be achieved through traditional Coaching. Still, the greatest advantages of the Coaching tools are their vast variety and ability to speed up significantly the process of achieving results. 

The Coaching tools are similar to the Coaching methodologies in nature – they all are designed to provide guidance to the Coach within a certain frame of work. The great part is the freedom of use within the frame. 

How to choose your Coaching tools? There is no receipt for choosing the right tools – it is a matter of trial and learning. The best way to go on about is for each Coach to choose a toolkit that resonates with the Coaching style and niche of the Coach. While doing that, there are two important things to bear in mind: 

  1. The Coaching tool needs to be simple – if it is too complicated, the Client may lose motivation or interpret it incorrectly. When it is simple and can be completed within a reasonable period of time, it will also boost the Clients confidence and make them feel good. 

  2. The tool has to be enjoyable – when Coaching is fully embraced by the Client, it can become a hard work that requires concentration and processing. When the tool provided by the Coach is enjoyable it can make the whole process lighter and nicer. 

In conclusion, through the Coaching tools and exercises the Clients are given a safe space to explore and develop their own insights about themselves. Their core purpose is to enhance the experience of the Client to get faster the results they want, while enjoying the process. In order to be an excellent Coach, who is prepared and equipped for a variety of situations, each Coach can develop a Coaching toolkit. The toolkit is dependent on the Coach’s personal preferences, the niche the Coach serves and the goals that will be pursued. The more tools the Coach is familiar with, the better they can help a Client get unstuck. Whatever Coaching tools and exercises a Coach may use in the practice, they are NOT a substitute for Coaching and the Coach-Client relationship. Once the Clients have completed a tool or exercise, they will bring the results back to the Coach. And the Coach’s responsibility is to coach them further, challenge them and help them build even greater awareness and understanding. All is done in order to create more ‘Aha’ moments for the Client in the Coach-Client relationship. 

Author: Iana Avramova for the International Coaching News Magazine

 

 

10 Yoga Poses For The Brain To Improve Memory And Focus

Iana Avramova

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Yoga is a surprising but effective way to boost your brain power. Try asanas like the plow pose, bridge pose, big toe pose, and inversions like the shoulder stand to increase blood circulation and oxygen flow to the brain. Try asanas like the lotus pose to reduce stress and calm your mind. You could also consider yogic breathing and massage, as they not only improve focus but also fight anxiety.

Are you trying to keep your mind sharp even as stress, age, and other factors get in the way? Keeping your brain fit and in good working order is vital not just in the prime of your life but even as you grow older. And yoga could be the key. You may know that yoga is a good form of exercise that gets your blood circulation going, improves oxygen flow, and helps with overall health. But did you know that yoga also helps boost brain function? Research has found that regular practice of yoga

  • Increases gray matter and the size of the memory centers in the brain

  • Increases overall brain wave activity and improves cognition

  • Improves mood, relieves depression and anxiety, and improves stress response

  • Enhances focus and memory and improves learning and academic performance

It is important to practice yoga regularly by putting together a regimen with a variety of asanas and deep breathing techniques. Some yoga poses like inversions, which stimulate blood flow to the brain as well as those that help relax the mind can be especially useful. Here’s a roundup of the best asanas to ramp up your brain and keep it in good health.

1. Tadasana Or Mountain Pose

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This simple standing pose can help you focus your mind on your breathing, thereby relaxing you. It can also alleviate headaches and insomnia.6 When you don’t get enough sleep, your brain isn’t able to function at its best. This pose should help you sleep better so your brain is more alert.

  • Stand with your feet together, arms by the sides, your fingers pointing down to the ground.

  • Keep your abdomen engaged but your pelvis neutral.

  • Broaden your collarbone and roll your shoulders back.

  • Keep your chin parallel to the ground, the top of your head spiraling up to the ceiling as you feel your spine lengthen.

  • Breathe in and out with a gentle “ha” sound as you exhale.

2. Sarvangasana Or Shoulder Stand

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This inversion helps nourish the brain by improving blood flow to the hypothalamus and pineal glands in your brain. This, in turn, boosts brain function and cognitive function. Here are the steps to ease into a shoulder stand. But it would be best to attempt this under the guidance of a yoga practitioner initially to avoid injury.

  • Lie down on your back and slowly lift your legs up into the air, extending them in a controlled manner.

  • Your elbows must be resting on the floor.

  • Keep your hands beneath your hips and breathe in as you slowly raise your pelvis, followed by your trunk, off the mat/ground. Keep going until you feel your chin touching your chest.

  • Hold this position and keep breathing normally. Try to hold for a few seconds.

  • Breathe out as you slowly lower your torso (followed by your pelvis and legs) back to the ground.

3. Paschimottanasana Or Seated Forward Bend

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Touted to be really good for your brain, this type of forward bend helps revive your nervous system, boost blood supply, and calm your mind.

  • Sit on the ground on a mat or folded blanket to support the buttocks and extend your legs.

  • Rock on each buttock by turn, pulling away from the other sitting bone as you do so.

  • The tops of your thighs must be turned in ever so slightly and pressed into the floor.

  • Press your palms and fingertips into the floor and raise your sternum up to the ceiling.

  • Breathe in as you lean forward from your hip, arms fully extended, elbows straight, hands on the sides of your feet, and your thumbs resting on your soles.

  • Do not lean from your waist.

  • Feel your tailbone lengthen. If you cannot reach your feet with the hands, use a strap looped around the feet and hold this instead.

  • Gently ease into the forward bend, lengthening your front torso and keeping the head raised.

  • Your elbows must bend out to your sides and lift up off the floor.

  • If you’re holding a strap then loosen your hold, move your hands forward and keep your arms long when you do this.

  • Feel your lower belly graze your thighs, followed by your upper belly and then your ribs.

  • Your head will touch your thighs last.

  • Allow your front torso to rise and lengthen a little each time you breathe in. When you exhale, release more into the forward bend. Repeat this for 2–3 minutes.

  • To exit the pose, lift your torso from your thighs gently and straighten your elbows.

  • Breathe in as you raise your torso up, pulling your tailbone into the pelvis.

4. Padmasana Or Lotus Pose

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This pose calms the mind and washes away fatigue and muscular tension. When you relax and unwind, your brain is able to rejuvenate itself and be more alert to take on new challenges.

  • Sit on the ground on a mat with your legs stretched ahead of you and your spine erect.

  • Bend your right leg at the knee, placing that leg onto your left thigh so that the soles of your feet point up and your heel is as close to your abdomen as you can manage.

  • Bend your left leg at the knee, bringing it onto your right thigh in the same manner.

  • Now put your hands into a mudra of your choice. Try the classic chin mudra where you bring the index finger and thumb together to form a circle, touching them together lightly, and extend the rest of your fingers straight. Ensure your spine is erect throughout.

  • Inhale and exhale deeply with long breaths.

5. Halasana Or Plow Pose

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The plow pose improves blood circulation and vitality. It also soothes the nerves.

  • Lie down flat on your back with your arms by your sides, palms facing downward.

  • Breathe in and use your abdominal/core muscles to raise your feet off the ground to a 90-degree angle.

  • Breathe normally, supporting your hips as well as your back with your hands, raising them slowly off the floor too.

  • Now sweep your legs over your head so that the toes touch the floor above your head.

  • Your back should be vertical/perpendicular to the ground.

  • Hold this for a few seconds, allowing your body to relax a little as you continue to breathe steadily.

  • Exhale as you release the pose and return to your legs.

6. Setubandhasana Or Bridge Pose

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The bridge pose is a restorative pose that calms your mind and also revitalizes you. It boosts blood supply to the brain and revitalizes your nervous system. Regular practice can even reduce your migraine headaches.

  • Lie on your back with knees bent so that your feet are firmly flat on the floor about hip-distance apart.

  • Reach toward your heels with your fingers, lengthening your arms. Your palms must face down.

  • Let your gaze drop down to your knees.

  • Breathe in as you roll your body up through the spine, beginning with your hips. Go as high as you can.

  • Hold this pose for 3 to 5 breaths before exhaling and lowering your body slowly (feel one vertebra lower at a time).

7. Padangusthasana Or Big Toe Pose

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The big toe pose also calms the brain and helps relieve anxiety and stress.

  • Stand upright, feet 6 inches apart. Exhale as you bend forward from your hips, your head and torso moving in unison.

  • Grip your big toe using the index finger and middle fingers of your hands by sliding them in the space between the second toe and the big toe. Your thumbs can help hold the fingers in place.

  • Inhale as you try and lift your torso, with elbows straight. Lengthen your torso.

  • Lift your sitting bones as you exhale. Release your hamstrings and lightly lift your lower belly to the back of your pelvis even as you feel your lower back hollow a bit. Deepen the hollow more with each successive exhalation.

  • To finish, bend your elbows and lengthen both the sides and front of your torso, then lower yourself into a forward bend when you exhale. Hold this for a minute before you release your toes.

  • Move your hands up to rest on your hips. Inhale as you bring your head and torso upright together.

8. Bhramari Pranayama Or Humming Bee Breathing

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The humming bee breathing can improve your memory as well as concentration. It can help release any negative emotions from your mind and calm you down as well. Perform this pose every day to experience the calmness associated with the humming sound vibrations. You can also use this as an antidote to stress or fatigue.

  • Find a quiet, airy spot and sit down with your eyes closed. Smile gently.

  • Notice the sensations your body experiences within and the quietness around you.

  • Now put your index fingers onto your ears in the cartilage between the ear and cheek.

  • Inhale deeply. As you exhale, press gently down onto the cartilage.

  • Keeping it pressed, make a loud bee-like humming sound. Higher pitched sounds work better, but if you are more comfortable with a low pitch that’s fine too.

  • Inhale again and repeat this 3–4 times.

9. Nadi Shodhana Or Channel Cleaning Breath

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The channel cleaning breath is a breathing method that is good for the brain. As you breathe slowly in and out, you should feel the drop in your heart rate and anxiety. This pose is said to help facilitate energy flow in the body.

  • Sit comfortably with your legs crossed in the sukhasana pose and exhale deeply.

  • Next, keep your right nostril closed with the thumb so that you breathe in from your other nostril.

  • After inhaling from this left nostril, close it using the fourth and fifth fingers.

  • Now close both nostrils and hold breath for a couple of seconds.

  • Hold your left nostril closed as you exhale slowly and completely from the opened right nostril.

  • Next, inhale from the right nostril deeply again, left still closed.

  • Again close both nostrils and hold your breath for 1–2 seconds.

  • This time, hold the right nostril closed as you exhale slowly and completely from the open left nostril. Inhale from the left deeply, right still closed.

10. Kapal Randhra Dhouti Or Yogic Facial Massage

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This yogic facial massage is designed to unclog cavities of your skull and free up mucus, dust, and other pollutants. This helps improve blood circulation and oxygen flow and has a positive impact on mental health. It also relieves stress, calms the nervous system, and boosts focus as well as brain power.

  • Put your thumbs on your temples. Use the other 4 fingers of each hand to gently massage your forehead.

  • Next, use the middle and forefinger to massage around the eyes using a circular motion.

  • Next, use your thumb and index finger to pinch your eyebrows, following their natural curve so you can feel the bone beneath.

  • Now massage your cheeks upward along the cheekbones.

  • After this, massage the gap between the lips and nose and lips and chin. Use your fingers in a left-to-right motion.

  • Massage the sides of your face and also the area behind the ears using a back and forth motion.

  • Look up and now massage your neck using firm upward strokes.

Safety First!

Now that you know which asanas and breathing and massage techniques can boost your brain power, learn how to perfect these movements and practices under the guidance of a yoga teacher. Doing something incorrectly could even injure you.

If you are on any medication, speak to your doctor about starting yoga. Don’t discontinue any existing treatment without their go-ahead either. Remember, if you have an age-related memory disorder (like Alzheimer’s disease) or if you have a child with a learning disorder, do not substitute yoga for a consultation with your doctor.

Source: https://www.curejoy.com

Black Friday or SMART Friday

Iana Avramova

It is a Black Friday but we, at Transformika Cards, like to call it a SMART Friday for three reasons:

First, because YOU are smart!

Second, because the Transformika Cards are smart. Books, trainings or tools that can increase a person’s potential to become a happy, well-rounded and successful individual are smart! We guarantee that Transformika Cards can do it for and with you. They are a great tool to solve your daily challenges with, while having fun in the safe environment of your home, with your friends or at work.

Third, because Transformika Cards fully comply to the S.M.A.R.T. abbreviation. S from Specific - each card is clearly defined and covers a specific topic. M from Measurable - each card funnels a topic to a simple step to undertake and track your progress. A from Achievable - each card helps you set challenging, yet achievable goals. R from Relevant - each card facilitates setting goals that are relevant to your overall life plan and vision. T from Timely - each card tights up the set goals to realistic deadlines.

It is all done in a smooth, non-aggressive manner, only through a set of well-designed and systemised questions. Applied psychology for everyone. Transformika Cards can empower you to achieve the best change every day!

Get your Transformika Cards only now and on the 23, 24 & 25 of November 2018 with incredible discount.

Click HERE and buy now!

Hidden resources and real-life superpowers

Iana Avramova

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After more than 5 years, two pregnancies, 2 lovely boys, 2 under-construction start-ups, and juggling between being “the best possible” mother, wife, daughter, friend, colleague, neighbor, relative, acquaintance and who knows what more, it all started to come in place and me having time for my Coaching that I love. 

Still, “life is what happens to you, while making other plans” and one ordinary Thursday evening my 2 years old son got a very high fever, which was not happening for the first time but for the first time he got a febrile seizure. He was unresponsive, shaking and fast he got stiff, his eyes came out staring blankly at me and he became blue – he was not breathing for some time. 

I was perplexed, scared, confused and thinking I cannot handle it till help arrives. Then I thought I am not strong to handle it while riding in the ambulance. And more, when they told us he will probably be getting more of these fibril seizures, I was sure I will not survive another one.

Every time, I thought I cannot continue any longer - I did go on and on and on and on. Surely, a lot of my energy is completely drained. The point is that I survived – I did not fall apart, did not get crazy. And I am absolutely as ordinary as anyone. I have spoken with people from different cultures, background, ages and gender, that have been through even harder and scarier situations. What they all shared is that whenever they thought they cannot go any further, they actually did. Like some magical superpowers were helping them to continue one step further. 

Obviously there lie some superpowers within each one of us, some hidden resource that is revealed in tough situations. Powers that help us stand up to our worst fears and experiences and not give up. And this is widely known and historically proved.

But I found that we do not have to wait for something terrible to happen in order to release these powers – we can work on a daily base to enable the hidden potential within us, to train it and to use it.

For me what has done it and still does it is Coaching and Self-Coaching. It is no miracle – it is a process, like learning to read or play an instrument. It requires to dedicate time, effort, consistency, patience and most of all BELIEF. Belief that the efforts each one of us does will definitely impact our lives in a positive manner.  

I DO BELIEVE. I believe that as humans, we are special and possess much more than what we use in our daily life. My passion and desire are to release this potential for myself and my close ones as well as to facilitate anybody who is eager to invest into their well-being and happiness. Understanding that we all are and have much more abilities than we think we do is the key to success. So, let’s cultivate this strength in a not abusive, smooth and friendly environment. I am sure it is possible and I have chosen to pursue Coaching and Self-Coaching in order to be the best I can be!

Author: Iana Avramova

Transformika Coaching Cards – the magic of powerful questions

Iana Avramova

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Asking questions is what our brains are born to do. For young children, the search for explanations is so deeply ingrained and it is as natural as the demand for food or water. Asking the right questions is the base, the source, the art of all knowledge and success. Questions are an extremely powerful tool that helps organize our thoughts, feelings and priorities. 

But what happens in our reality? Most of us act as being hit by amnesia – we know our names, addresses, professions but we do not know who we are, how to live our life and the purpose we are here. We continuously struggle finding our identity and developing potential for success and well-being. 

The cause it deeply rooted into the educational system and the fact that we all live in societies. It is proven that by the age of 12 children lose their creativity and natural ability to ask questions and be curious about life. This is replaced by stereotypes and patterns – we learn not to question authorities (parents, teachers, senior pairs, bosses and politicians), we are told what is right and what is wrong; what is good and what is bad.

How can we cure it? The starting point and the most important step is to start again asking ourselves powerful questions.Reborning thecuriosity. By asking questions we will be able to find where we stand, where we want to be and how to get there. 

What are the powerful questions?

1.     They are open questions starting with How, Who, When, Where, What, Which and Why. 

2.     The powerful questions are systemized in some order and aim at a particular result (i.e. finding alternatives, solutions, generating ideas, or other). 

Having in mind these two characteristics of the powerful questions, instead of the time consuming and useless trial-and-error method, we can equip ourselves with the newborn very powerful tool, able to transform our lives for the best - Transformika Coaching Cards

Using the Coaching Cards is very simple. They can be used at home, at work, at a Café or while traveling. All you need are the Cards, pen and paper. Writing is highly recommendable for achieving higher results as when you put your thoughts on paper, first you free yourself from them, and second it helps organizing and expressing them much better. 

The set of Cards contains 32 cards of systemized, powerful questions on life or professional topics. Each card represents a mini questions session aiming to facilitate us in the process of moving us forward towards our goals and/or desires. One card has one leading questions and 10 supporting questions. The questions are divided into 3 main parts: 

1.    Exploration – this is the leading question and the consequent 4 questions. They aim at researching the topic, problem or challenge and making sure that this is the exact theme to tackle. Only when we know in detail what we are dealing with and this is the right topic, we will be able to move forward.

2.    Idea generation (brainstorming) –we move forward to generate solutions, ideas and options leading in the desired direction. Even while we work on investigating out theme, the brain unconsciously starts working of solutions (this is what the brain is good at). But sometimes, our brain still needs processing time. For that we have created two additional Joker Cards with more than 20 special questions to support us into switching points of view and generating ideas/solutions. There are still some rules to brainstorming that are essential and you will certainly find them in Transformika Coaching Cards. 

3.    Step forward and commitment – to complete the process and to really move forward, even with one step towards our goals/problem solving or idea generation, we need to choose an action, to determine the first step, to set a deadline in doing it, and a manner to stay motivated. Here is also the place, where we investigate if there is something that may sabotage us and create a strategy to deal with it. This is the most practical call-to-action part. After working with facts and information and releasing our imagination and creativity, with the last 5 questions we narrow down the process to a workable plan. Then we have to measure on a scale of 1 to 10 (where 1 is low and 10 is high) three things: 1. How strong is your intention; 2. How strong is your enthusiasm; 3. How strong is your commitment. If the answer on the first two questions is 7 or below – it has proven that you will not take the step/plan you have decided on. So, next step is to ask yourself “What will make the marks get higher”. 

Together with the Cards with systemized questions on 32 life and professional topics, in the set is included a bonus of 60 Coaching mantras.  Coaching mantra is what in psychology is called "positive affirmation". These are short and powerful sentences, which are used in a specific way to change or replace our negative believes with positive ones (i.e. – “I am not good enough” to be replaced with “I am perfect as I am"). They assist you to visualize, and believe in, what you’re aiming to bring to life and the positive change you desire.

To conclude, we are all born with the ability to ask the right questions, to be curious and to search for what is best for us. It is a gift, a skill that cannot be lost and with the help of good tools and practice it can be reborn to serve us to move to the next level of success and well-being. As Tony Robbins says “The difference between the successful people and the rest is that the successful people ask better questions and get better answers”. 

So, go ahead, start asking question and even more – start asking “better”, “powerful”, “open”, “systemized” questions and pursue the best you can become, with a little help from Transformika Coaching Cards!

Start now at here and enjoy!

Author: Iana Avramova

Judgmental - the merits of avoiding judgements

Iana Avramova

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The greatest moral failing is to condemn something as a moral failing: no vice is worse than being judgmental
— Julian Baggini

People are rarely aware of the fact that they are judgmental. When asked if they are judgmental about, 80% say “no” without even realizing how often it is not true. It is only understiod when specific questions such as “How often do you try to complete a person’s sentence?” or “Do you have an opinion (positive or negative) about something you have never tried (e.g. sky diving)?” or “Do you pay attention to what people wear?” are asked. Only then awareness is built about how unconsciously judgmental humans are.

Initially judgment is not a vice or a sin, actually the opposite - it is “the evaluation of evidence to make a well – grounded decision”. A powerful tool that through collection of information and data allows people to reach the most appropriate for them decision. The key elements in this definition of the process of judgment are: “evaluation” and “evidence”. The first one is associated primary with logic and a certain amount of objectivity and the second one – “evidence” – relates to time spent investigating and accumulating facts and figures for evaluation.

In conversational language, the word “judgment” most often carries a negative connotation and is primarily used to categorize people, events and situations accordingly. The act of “judgment” is generally unintentional, without a specific reason and is not related to the nature of the person committing it or the person receiving it. Furthermore, there is no correlation between a person's nature (good, bad, evil, caring ect.) and the frequency of implied judgments. It is all done in a split of a second in the subconscious mind.

The “judgments” are possible due to the existence of prejudices, which semantically have their origin in the word “prejudgment”, which literally means “forming an opinion before becoming aware of the relevant facts”. It is surprising and even somehow unrealistic since humans have all the skills and attributes to conduct well-grounded conclusions based on objective reasoning, knowledge and know-how.

The explanation, according to recent studies, shows that prejudices come from the human need of categorization in order to receive certainty. Most people fear the unknown, the unfamiliar and they will put efforts and energy into relating it to something already know. When something is familiar there is certainty and expectations about behaviors and also coping mechanisms are in place. This process again happens unconsciously, for example when a person shows up, immediately that person is being categorized as male or female, young or old, black or white, without really being aware of this categorization / stereotyping. People judge based on the characteristics of certain categories and stereotypes they have, in order to make sense of the world.

Although being judgmental is a common human trait that cannot be fully changed since it satisfies the basic need for certainty and respectively security, there are advantages that are brought by limiting the use of it. Once more, being judgmental is not necessarily a bad thing as long as people (especially Coaches) are aware of its existence, as well as of the merits of being non-judgmental and can purposely make a choice about their approach towards people, things and situations.

The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence
— Jiddu Krishnamurti

Being non-judgmental opens new horizons and possibilities become unlimited. The more a person is open to the fact that there can be more than one explanation as to why things are the way they are, the more he realizes that the possibilities are endless. This helps staying creative at an all-time high and not being stuck in just one way of thinking.

Naturally, it is questionable if a human can truly be non-judgmental and judgments can be fully suspended but we all can try to put the ego aside and focus on the other person’s perception and understanding of the world and the value attached to this perception. At the end, we are not initially existing for receiving recognition and boosting our own ego, but for building healthy relationships that can lead to enjoying a life in a better and healthier society.

If the merits of being non-judgmental are to be defined, beneath are the most distinctive ones:

1.     By being non-judgmental, a person implies the core universal principals (also a core assertion of coaching): “people are creative resourceful and whole” and they are able to find the best answers and define the best actions they need to undertake in any given situation. Is that not true? No matter how many people advice you when you are in a challenging situation – they all provide you with their “right answer”. No matter how reasonable it is – it is NOT necessary your “right answer”. We all tend to make this mistake and ask ourselves “Why is he not doing the right thing – it is so obvious.” Well, yes but no.  If we want to truly help – we need to get out of our judgements and to support the other persons through the process of becoming self-aware of his inner powers and ability to find and implement his own answers and decisions no matter what we may think of them.

2.     Being non-judgmental makes us happier – accepting that things and people are the way they are, instead of comparing how they ought to be based on personal expectations and perceptions, can make life brighter. When understanding the difference between people and accepting they will exist no matter what a person does, then the element of dissatisfaction and disappointment will be eliminated, which will leave space for more happy moments. For example, we give somebody a favor and expect appreciation, there will be disappointment if it does not happen and hence, the we will judge the person by labeling the as ungrateful, a moron or something else. This will make the us unhappy because there is a gap between how according to the us, the person should behave and the reality. It may also shake our self-esteem (what was not done properly so there is no appreciate). Further, if we are not able to leave our expectations, ego and judgments aside, we may never understand the real reason behind the person’s behavior. Managing and reducing our judgements can have a great positive impact on our happiness and well-being.

3.     Being non-judgmental opens new horizons – when things, people and situations are immediately categorized and stereotyped we impose limitations on our ability of recognizing the endless possibilities and choices. The more perspectives, the more information and possibilities, the more chance for finding opportunities and creative solutions. There is always something to learn from everybody and by being non-judgmental one can create abundance of knowledge floating into his life.

4.     Being non-judgmental spares energy – it can be pretty exhausting constantly being busy (even subconsciously) labelling it all as good, bad, right, wrong, beautiful, ugly, funny, sad, tall, short, thin, fat, rich, poor, black, white, possible, impossible, true, lie, worthy and unworthy, and trying to figure out the complexities of people and situations. When letting it all be as it is, so much efforts and energy can be spared. This energy can be transformed and directed towards one’s development and improvement.

5.     Last, but not less important – being non-judgmental improves the relation with other people – when we can listen without casting judgements on for thoughts, actions or the lack of actions, the other person will open and blossom from appreciation for the understanding and compassion. Then the relation becomes a relation of respect and appreciation of the authentic nature of each human being without worrying about whether they’re “good” or “bad”, right” or “wrong”. Aren't all people looking for understanding and a place to be themselves without fear of judgement or guilt; and how great experience it is for the Coach to provide this place and to give comfort, support and understanding.

Since we cannot change reality, let us change the eyes which see reality.
— Nikos Kazantzakis

Judging is part of human nature, it happens on unconscious level and most people are not aware how often it takes place. Judgment has its roots in prejudices and stereotyping, which has helped people stay in their comfort zone and have certainty about the surrounding world. There are many different merits of being non-judgmental. In general, being non-judgmental can lead to a better personal well-being and improved relationship with the people around us. It is definitely worth working on it!

Author: Iana Avramova